Begin Again
It was burning red, but now it's cotton pink.
My feet bounced off the curb, and I halted in front of the salon. Stuck in a gaze, slowly my eyes trailed upward at the beauty of the sunny clouds. In a moment, God struck gold in my soul. A relationship that ended over three years ago, he reconnected solely for closure and clarity. It was the briefest encounter, but I was in awe. I had so many errands to run that day, before I got to my destination, and still God made it so that she and I could meet. A sigh of gratitude escaped my lips until it morphed into a smile. He was doing something new the first week of January, and beyond the interaction, I could see an opening: my life was about to begin again.
There are moments when you just know life is going to be different moving forward. There are small windows of opportunity, healing, vision, and purpose. Whispers that what once was is no longer. That you have full permission to move on and truly live, and stop for a while to catch your breath. Do you feel it too? The urge to press forward into your crossover. Sometimes it’s not as grand; it’s subtle. Othertimes a season of new is birthed through hardship, transition, grief, and loss. In either scenario, we have to be mindful, discerning in our pace and thought patterns, and trace our footsteps. Are we aligned with His will? Are we making room for the new? Let’s be honest. Sometimes it’s not sin weighing us down, nor is it people. It is our inability to open our hearts again after we’ve been scorned by life. It is the thoughts of failure and defeat that we failed to take captive and uproot. We wished for a different outcome, but were disappointed. It’s not what just happened. It’s years of loss haunting our appetite for a better future ahead. It’s the “I believe, but help my unbelief” ( Mark 9:24). I hear you, I see you, and I understand. I believe even Joshua could relate in many ways. He was met with vision for the promised land through grief. Moses was dead, and he was the new leader in charge of the Israelites.
We can only imagine how heartbreaking it was for him and the Israelites to grieve Moses and to carry on. Yet we know this absolute truth: God was doing a new thing, and he would be with them every step of the way. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” Joshua 1:9 (NIV). So it is for you and me. As I pulled my body away from the sun’s comfort and into my car, I thought of these song lyrics. “But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again.” Because it will begin again, and for your good, no matter what it looks like now. Also, it may just be a random moment you weren’t expecting, or it might knock you off your feet for a few seconds. Either way, when it comes, discern it, accept it, and agree. Don’t let perfection keep you from beginning again.
I’m praying for you!!
Be encouraged,
Love Monica
